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misano17 · 3 months ago

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yo my mom is asking me for research on what t does and how reliable it is and i don't feel like wading through transphobic shit or researching on my own rn- do you have any recent sources on regret rates + positive effects + the various methods of applying testosterone? ty. also i would listen to u forever

I don't have the resources on hand but I can get back to you later with sources and I can ask the university departments I work with for resources as well.

I can give anecdotal stuff as a rootin tootin North Carolinian who has been on T for a year. My advice may not apply for getting on T in your state/country but I can explain how I went about my process, why I choose injection instead of patches, and how injecting has been for me + how to do it safely, and what effects I've had in my first year + some of my lab results and why my results are what they are, so you can make informed medical decisions/put together research 🫡.

K so effects generally for me have been:

More hair, my hair grows faster all over my body including my head

Deeper voice. For the first six months I also experienced a lot of voice cracks, though with my choir background and heavy vocal training prior to HRT my voice was already a bit androgenous, so the effects were quick.

Acne. It's puberty again, though my acne was more manageable cuz I was taking care of my skin this time. I still have acne but that's more cuz my pharmacy has been inconsistent with my refills so on weeks when I don't have my T my acne gets worse. On a side note your skin also gets tougher, but I'll come back to this later with the injection post.

Bottom growth. Make sure you have loose boxers and stuff that won't irritate yer nerves cuz that can be a pain. It's usually a non-issue but it can be real annoying when it's first occurring.

Body Temp increase. I am the world's sweatiest man, I was already a bit sweaty before T but dear god am I the sweat lord now. If it ever seemed weird to you that middle school/high school boys could be outside in winter in shorts... this is why. I generally don't feel temperature cuz of autism related hyposensitivity but I do notice a slight difference in my body's reactions to temperature. I don't get goosebumps as often now.

Masculinizing my frame + face. K so this one will be more subtle and slow but your face and body will masculinize. After about a year your chest will reduce in size a bit, and your fat will redistribute into a more masculine-ish kinda way.

No more period. As soon as I started I stopped having periods. (there may be a medical reason for me specifically for why this occurred so fast and I'll elaborate on that lower in this post)

Other people also report an increased sex drive, I did not get this but this is probably because I do not have a sex drive at all.

Anyways on a labs note, before starting T I already had elevated levels of T in my blood. My primary care provider and I have a few explanations for this that we've been floating around but we haven't pursued any yet. I had irregular and infrequent periods since like starting my period, so we assume I have something goin on.

Testosterone injections, how I got on T, + the medical stuff:

Dosage: My doctor started me on 200ml once a week. According to my other trans masc friends this is quite high, but I experienced immediate changes.

Informed Consent: In order to start T I did not need to see a therapist. I sought out a primary care provider (using google to look at my options) and pick one who would help me get on HRT the fastest and monitor its impact on my body to keep me safe. I was also picking my primary care going forward so I also took other stuff into consideration. Anyways the primary care provider I picked uses informed consent as his metric for how to approach my transition care. My insurance at the time didn't cover transition care so it cost me 70$ for twelve weeks + like 25 cents per needle.

Speaking of needles... Injecting: Ight so I use a 25 gauge 5/8ths inch needle to inject once per week on my thigh. I inject on the top of my thigh cuz T is intramuscular and I don't wanna hit a vein. I draw up my T with an 18 gauge cuz T is THICK.

Anyways here's the injection process from start to finish:

Swab the top of yer T bottle with an alcohol pad

Grab yer syringe, sometimes I get syringes with 18 gauges already on and sometimes I get syringes with 25 gauges already on. If you have a 25 gauge on yer syringe in the package, use the package to twist it off and LEAVE IT IN THE PACKAGE WHEN YOU REMOVE THE SYRINGE. Be careful not to let anything touch, you do not want an infection, if stuff does touch use an alcohol pad.

Draw up. Get your desired dosage in the syringe, and take it out of the bottle. BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR 18 GAUGE NEEDLE OFF THE SYRINGE draw all the T that's left in the needle into the syringe this helps get rid of air bubbles and use as much of that T as you have paid for.

Use the packaging that the 25 gauge is in to screw it onto your needle.

Push the plunger of the needle a bit to get all the air out, do that thing that doctors do where they flick it as well, and push it ever so slightly to get a droplet going down the needle. You don't want air bubbles, be thorough.

Swab the area you are about to inject.

Align the needle with this directly, don't go in at an angle, you want this straight.

Get it in yer skin, then pull out a bit to check for blood. If there is blood choose a different spot cuz you hit a vein, and you do not want to be hitting veins. Once you get a good spot push all the T in.

After you pull the needle out immediately apply direct pressure to the area. I recommend using an alcohol pad for this.

Rest and recover. For people who are afraid of needles, or just generally don't like pain (there isn't much but your body, especially if you aren't used to injecting will exaggerate things to you mentally. After you skin gets rougher injecting can get harder, and this can make things more difficult.) be gentle to yourself. You can get a friend to help you, or get some music as part of your ritual. Just give yourself some kind of positive thing to associate with this cuz it helps and you deserve it. The general thing to remember is to inject in different spots based on your hrt specialist/primary care/ doctor's recommendation. My primary care recommends switching legs, but over time I've started exclusively injecting in my left leg cuz it's easier for me. I vary the spot on my thigh rather than the leg. Be kind to yourself and make sure to vary spots.

Also you might be sore after doing T for the first couple months, this does eventually go away (at least in my case). Try to schedule the day of the week (or every two weeks, some doctors prefer to prescribe two week plans) so that you have a day where you can rest afterwards. My school schedule last semester on my mountain-ahh campus made injecting on Monday easiest, cuz I only had one class on Tuesday.

Anyways I choose not to do gel/patches cuz A. My mother is a nurse and I like needles, B. It works better for me cuz I don't like the smell of gels and patches, and C. From what I've seen it tends to work a bit faster, especially if you are very active, and I live on a mountain and hike everyday, so I am quite active.

Ight so accessing T:

The way I went about this was by getting a primary care provider who was willing to help me access it by prescribing it. I made it clear that my intention was to transition and I wanted hormones as soon as possible. My primary care walked me through the side effects, and made sure I had done my own research first before considering it. After that we did my labs to check what levels would be safe to prescribe me. He walked me through the process of injecting, and made sure I was informed on everything and consenting.

So North Carolina, to my knowledge makes it not too difficult to get on T with a healthcare provider backing you, but I was also 18 at the time.

Anyways I'll be back with sources when I get the time, cuz erm this is all anecdotal from my personal experiences. But I can also say with certainty that I've experienced nothing but gender euphoria in doing T. I wake up everyday and see my new self in the mirror, and it fills my soul with joy I didn't know I was capable of feeling. I'll be getting surgery this summer, and I am very excited for that as well.

Anyways if yer a North Carolinian and want advice on legal name change stuff here for over 18 year olds lemme know. I just got through the process without a lawyer so I can help with that if you need advice 👍

#asks #syn4k ✨#btw you can @ or dm me if you need anything specific or want advice for specific areas cuz I am willing to do research once I ain't in #the triple major swamp 🧍‍♂️#all I see are essays #policy memos and literature reviews #as far as the eye can see #anyways trans advice for the trans homies #or for cis gender individuals who would also like T

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alkhale · 2 years ago

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So happy you’ve returned thank you for coming back 💜💜💜💜💜💜

So I had a thought with that AU dark!Sabo/Ace fic you have, how would Sabo/Ace react to Law being over at Hoku’s? Like Law’s hanging out or slept over and answers Hoku’s phone for her and Sabo/Ace basically have aneurysms 😂

Basically I’m in a Law era and seeing him with Hoku is always a treat 💜

(Locked Here for Forever AU - Hoku is still currently doing the work for Sabo and Ace)

Minor Warning: Depictions of Dark!Sabo, nothing too serious, just in case you don't want to see Sabs acting... dark ;)

Sabo's gloved knuckles rasped softly against Hoku's apartment door.

The faint sound of other tenants arriving home for the night filled the air. In the distance he could absently make out the sounds of a few cars passing the neighborhood street, the too-loud laugh of a few teenagers walking past.

Sabo took a polite step back from the front door, keeping one arm folded across his chest. A hefty, sleek paper bag hung from the crook of his elbow—carefully picked take-out orders, a thoughtful range of dishes that would be easy to eat while making conversation while still meeting Sabo's own preferences for someone's nutritional intake.

Quietly, with perfect clarity, he considered the image of Hoku in his mind. His eyes traced in place of hands the shape of her curves, the brightness of her skin, the slight press of her thighs against a seat.

"You should eat more," Ace had said, watching Hoku over the tabletop of their last meal. Sabo had remembered needing to touch his shoulder, a faint warning to check his gaze. "You look skinnier."

(Ace's gaze always tended to swallow too much. He was louder about his hunger.)

"You aren't having trouble getting meals, are you?" Sabo had asked, playfully scolding like a good friend. A thoughtful friend.

Hoku, as expected, had denied all claims. I can eat plenty, she'd said. Or I can just cook more—I just get distracted or it gets a bit late...

So Sabo had suggested, as any good friend would:

"Why don't we have more meals together? It's been so long since we all got together to eat."

Ace had grinned, as though the idea were completely novel, leaning forward eagerly across the table, "We used to do it all the time! We practically always had dinner together—damn, why'd we stop?"

Quietly, on cue, a faint trickle of thoughtful guilt made its way across Hoku's expression. Sabo pretended not to see it, brows creasing as he said, "You know how it is. It can't be helped when we all get busy and have things to do... it's just nice we can all reunite together now."

Relief flashed across Hoku's face at the solution to her unknown guilt. Sabo smiled, sweet and easy as he turned to her, "Right, Hoku?"

Hoku's eyes had brightened and Sabo felt his own smile widen, a soft upturn of his lips while he lightly rubbed his gloved thumb over the top of his other hand.

"No, of course! No time better than the present... we can do something as soon as you guys are free—even on days where we don't plan it, maybe just a spontaneous thing?"

Sabo had counted an appropriate pause in his mind, finally replying, "If we can get Ace to remember, I think it'll be perfect."

"Me? What about rounding up Luffy?"

Hoku had laughed, perfectly at ease, a fluttering, hopeful little bit of excitement in her gaze.

I know, Sabo thought, consoling, it's been too long, hasn't it?

(Too long.)

Sabo stood here now, the soft beginnings of evening darkening the sky behind him as he waited in front of Hoku's apartment—the fruit of their conversation, an impromptu drop off of food. An easy, casual set-up that would lead to an expected invitation.

(Progress.)

He remained dressed in clothes similar to his usual work attire, allowing his sleeves to crease slightly and his tie to loosen just so as to appear fresh off of work. He glanced once to the sleek gold watch on his wrist, considering the current time and then lifting his eyes back to Hoku's front door.

His timing should be just right, not too early that stray errands would've kept her away from home, not too late that a full meal didn't seem unappealing—though knowing Hoku, the second option was always less of a risk since her upbringing and own politeness would force her to eat, no matter how late if he'd come all this way, especially after work... just to bring her something.

Sabo smiled, fond—endearing.

(Classic Hoku.)

He knew if Ace was here this time for this one, he might've even come later, pressing for the expected chance that Hoku's hospitality would be their chance to quietly open the door, just a bit wider. It was more than obvious she'd offer them to stay the night, especially if either he or Ace played the part of being oh so tired just a bit harder, but Sabo had known for quite some time now that they'd waited long enough.

They could wait, just a bit more.

(Cover all their bases. The result will follow.)

A second bag hung from Sabo's elbow, the familiar plastic of a convenience store bag. Two canned beers sat comfortably inside, one advertising the sweet, fruity taste of lychee while the other remained a smooth, simple brand—Sabo's usual drink wasn't the kind found at the local convenience store, but this would do.

Hoku had never been one to handle her alcohol particularly well, which was why she tended to either not drink or stick to the one's lighter in taste and content. The flip side to this, however, was that Hoku had grown up close to people who enjoyed a good drink and could hold their alcohol very well—meaning she was more than happy to entertain a sip or two and have a drink for fun.

Sabo had come to realize as well, with a bit of quiet amusement, that Hoku always seemed willing to test if her alcohol tolerance had suddenly become better overnight. She was easy enough to convince.

He gave the door another knock, a steadier sound this time, not to be missed.

An older woman entered the apartment at the end of the hall. Sabo quietly watched her lightly hit the numbers across her keypad before stepping inside. His gaze turned now to Hoku's own keypad lock, still for a moment until Sabo's gloved fingers quietly slid the lock cover upwards.

Sabo's gaze was half-lidded in thought, a lazy, casual expression settled over his face. His dark eyes remained sharp beneath the long curl of his lashes, carefully looking over each number key until he quietly made out which numbers had become more worn from clear use.

He faintly traced the pattern of these numbers, a soft, unamused hum leaving his lips when he recognized the date. His gaze darkened a bit, lightly repeating the pattern as though to key in the code himself.

The sound of footsteps finally making their way down the hallway entrance reached Sabo's ears. His fingers gently slid the keypad cover closed, quietly with the softest click. He schooled his expression into one of quaint ease, a warm smile on his lips as he heard the lock twist and the locking mechanism churn.

Hoku's front door pulled open, stopping just short of yanking the rattled door chain still in place. Sabo took note of the secondary lock for only a split second before he paused, catching himself.

Sabo's mind worked with practiced quickness, a series of short observations.

A young man he did not recognize from Hoku and Luffy's immediate circle of friends stood in Hoku's place by her door. Opening her door. He couldn't have been much older than himself or Ace—his faintly youthful complexion betrayed only by the tired lines by his eyes and the sharp line of his jaw, coupled by a neatly trimmed goatee.

He was tall, hair pitch black and skin tanned. Sabo could easily make out a well-defined build from the width of open door held by the metal chain still in place. He was roguishly handsome in a way Sabo absently thought would give a few models in his agency a run for their money—he had a good brooding face, he was sure of it.

Corded muscles flexed along this man's bicep, his arm leaning against the entryway wall as he kept the door open, regarding Sabo with an expression that looked faintly vexed—the kind a person would wear when they were a bit annoyed they had to answer the door but not so impolite to be outright rude about it. Not enough to care, however, about their slight annoyance being known.

You're imposing.

Sabo's gaze stilled.

That was a very... comfortable expression to wear. It was not the kind of face a person who was only in someone else's home for the first time or for a brief moment would make. Not unless they had Luffy's audacity to make themselves at home.

This was a man who was familiar with Hoku's home.

So familiar in fact, that he felt comfortable enough to answer her door in her place.

Familiar and careful, Sabo thought in the back of his mind, because every time Hoku had opened the door for them her door chain had never been in place.

(Careful men were dangerous.)

He was also in Hoku’s home this late into the day—his bothered expression implying he’d already been here for some time. Hoku wasn’t the type to invite new people to her home this late, it took time for her to bring people into her workspace. Her home was a place he and Ace had to tread with care—it was why their apartment was easier.

(So you’re someone Hoku is comfortable with.)

But what bothered Sabo the most, and it really only bothered him so much, was that this stranger was someone Hoku deemed close enough to allow all those things—and he was someone neither Sabo nor Ace had known of.

Sabo allowed his face to become one of curious surprise. He looked at the unknown man with a practiced, startled smile.

“Oh, hello!” Sabo said. “Are you one of Hoku’s classmates? I didn’t realize she’d have someone over!”

The dark gray eyed man blinked slowly, brows furrowing in a manner that Sabo would almost find skeptical—hmm, he felt quite familiar inside Hoku’s home, didn’t he? He seemed to be considering Sabo’s greeting and inquiry, even judging if it was truthful. But Sabo’s words meant after all that he was familiar enough with Hoku to make such a statement.

“…no,” the man said slowly—his voice was low, a husky sort of natural timbre. Sabo lightly picked at the edge of his glove. “Who are you?”

Sabo allowed his startled smile to become a curious one, polite and wide as he extended his gloved hand to him. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m one of Luffy’s brothers—Hoku’s childhood friend?”

The unfamiliar man’s expression instantly cleared with recognition. Sabo continued to smile but filed this information away with a sharp twist of his lips. The man finally extended his hand through the open gap and clasped Sabo's firmly. Sabo's eyes didn't stray from his face, but he noticed the inked tattoos from the corner of his eye.

His grip was firm. It didn't linger but it did not shy.

“You’re… Sabo,” he said finally. “Sabo, aren’t you?”

Sabo smiled, feigning pleasant surprise, “That’s me! Has Hoku introduced us before?"

"No," the man said simply. He rubbed absently at his jaw for a moment, seeming to consider his phrasing before he answered, "She mentioned reconnecting with some childhood friends. Described you before... I remember you from a few photos now."

The warmth of Hoku's actions made it easy for Sabo's smile to become a touch sweeter, a bit friendlier, though he imagined none of such feelings were meant for this man.

"I'm Law," he finally introduced, "Trafalgar Law. Just a friend of Hoku's."

Sabo lightly pulled the edge of his glove. In his mind he carefully sorted through Hoku's gallery on her social media—a man like this would've easily caught his or Ace's attention. Hoku was not one to purposefully keep people an explicit secret, but she was one to not realize certain circles of her life had never crossed.

(She was also one, Sabo remembered, silent, to wait before making certain announcements.)

"This is—"

The memory of a sheepish laugh.

"He and I decided to give dating a—"

"I see! It's nice to meet you Law," Sabo said brightly. "Is Hoku home? She didn't mention going anywhere..."

Law half-glanced over his shoulder, back deeper into the apartment. "She's home. She didn't mention expecting anyone to stop by."

He said it casually, clear without any malice, simply just to inform Sabo of what he knew. It only bothered Sabo, really, that he was able to piece together a few more things about Law from this statement alone.

Law was here on a planned occasion. Most likely he was expected to be here for some time.

"No, that makes sense," Sabo said with a cheerful laugh. He motioned to the bags strewn over his arm and Law glanced briefly to it. "I was stopping by after to work because I figured she'd be home."

Law made a noise in the back of his throat that meant he understood. His gaze flickered back up to Sabo, "Just dropping this off?"

(Hah.)

Sabo smiled smoothly. "If it's a bad time? I was hoping to see her for a second."

Law seemed to consider his answer, briefly glancing once more over his shoulder back into the apartment. Sabo tilted his head softly to the side, a bit of blonde curling against his cheek.

Law's fingers deftly undid the top chain. He opened the door wide enough for Sabo to enter. "She should be out of the shower in a second."

Ah.

(Telling Ace to sit this one out really was a blessing in disguise.)

"Thank you!" Sabo smiled politely. Law slightly shook his head in a no need to thank me sort of manner.

Sabo carefully adjusted the bags over his elbow, taking a moment to himself before he casually stepped into Hoku's genkan. Law closed the door behind him, locking and bolting the door. Sabo made a point to slip off his shoes with practiced familiarity, opening Hoku's small shoe closet to place them inside instead of just leaving them in the entryway.

(He was not a new guest.)

He noticed the unfamiliar pair of dark loafers sitting beside her worn sneakers. Sabo lightly placed his own shoes between the two of them, softly closing the closet.

"I'll go set this down in the kitchen," Sabo said casually, only half turning over his shoulder. He saw Law nod, simply following behind Sabo as the two of them stepped into Hoku's living room.

Sabo kept his gaze forward, allowing his expression to settle into a simple, thin line as his eyes deftly glanced about Hoku's home. His feet carried him toward her kitchen without needed guidance.

The first thing he noticed was the television on—some kind of show for easy background noise based on the fact that neither of the two people currently in this apartment were sitting to watch. A blanket was tossed hazardously over one arm of the couch, discarded casually by Hoku, he pieced. Two mugs and a set of papers and folders were laid neatly across her table, standing out starkly compared to Hoku's scattered pages and texts—these most likely belonged to the man behind Sabo, though he couldn't make out their contents.

Sabo could hear water running down the hall as he stepped into Hoku's small, cozy little kitchen. Cozy was being kind, he supposed, but Hoku woud not allow him to think otherwise. He kept his mind focused on the task at hand. For the best, Sabo thought, since the sound of running water was only getting louder in the back of his mind, grating on his ears in this occasion where it should've been teasingly soft.

("She's in the shower.")

Law stepped into the kitchen behind him, drifting to the countertop while Sabo began to carefully set his bags down on Hoku's little dining table.

Sabo had already gauged Law was not the particularly talkative type. He smiled and said, "You mentioned you were a friend of Hoku's, but not a classmate? How did the two of you meet?"

"We met properly through a joint project at my work," Law said calmly. "Had a few mutual friends prior to it without realizing."

"I see," Sabo said. He began to pull containers from the bag. "You're an artist as well?"

Law scoffed, a light sound as he shook his head. Sabo's eyes slowly turned his way. "Doctor. She was commissioned to design a mural for the children's ward."

Sabo offered a small hum of interest, watching the broth in one container sway slightly from side to side. "So you're one of Straw Hat's brothers?"

"That's right," Sabo said, calmly adjusting a utensil set. He turned now and lightly leaned back against the dining table to face Law, lacing his gloved fingers together and letting them hang comfortably in front of him. Sabo smiled, a charming upturn of his lips. "Luffy, Ace, Hoku and I all grew up together. She lived with us for a long time as well."

"Must've been a loud house," Law said. Sabo continued to smile. "You seem more put together than either of them at least."

"Haha, we managed," Sabo said, "it was the kind of home Hoku loved. Easy to mind the noise."

Law glanced over from where he'd been lightly moving some stray items off Hoku's countertop. Sabo dully noticed the way Law seemed to know where to put each little item.

"She mentioned the two of you were back in town," Law leaned back against the counter. "What do you do for work? Random business like Straw Hat-ya?"

Sabo grinned easily. "Fortunately more stable than that. I work with a few brands and do some modeling."

"I see," Law said. "A model."

"Are you currently still in school?" Sabo said, though he could tell the answer already. "Residency?"

Law offered him one easy shake of his head. He considered Sabo for a brief moment, a simple look, before he said, "Attending."

"That's amazing," Sabo said, eyes widening. "You only look a few years older than me!"

"Worked hard," Law said with a slight shrug. "That's all."

Sabo nodded in understanding. He could feel Law giving him a curious once over. Sabo had already done the same, after all, taking in the rolled up sleeves of his black button down, undone by several buttons to reveal the top of his chest and casual black slacks. It seemed he'd just gotten off work.

Perhaps he'd be called back into the hospital soon enough.

"What hospital do you work at?" Sabo asked. "Somewhere local?"

Law nodded. "Heart Hospital."

Sabo paused for a moment, wondering briefly where he'd heard such a name before. He was familiar with that hospital, one of the biggest ones in the area. Reputable and good reviews... no, that's right. There was an article Luffy's father had mentioned to him once...

Sabo's expression became one of faux concern, brows creased, "Isn't that the one that was owned by that mobster? Doflamingo?"

For a split second, Law's jaw clenched briefly. Sabo kept his careful mask of concern, watching with lightly narrowed eyes as Law's own expression flickered before it settled. A mask of calm detachment.

"...his brother owned it," Law said clearly. "He'd left that part of the family business behind. He didn't know anything about medicine, but he helped fund the hospital and keep it afloat until it took off."

The most you've said all night. "Oh, I had no idea," Sabo said, eyes round with curiosity. "That must be a relief to know you don't have to worry about treating any criminals or having any troublemakers around, right?"

Law offered a short noise in the back of his throat as a response. One of his hands was drumming his fingers against the side of the countertop. Sabo unamusedly considered the ink etched into his knuckles with distaste.

"You know what," Sabo said now, voice lighter, "you must've been the one who treated Luffy's broken collarbone last year, aren't you?"

Law's expression instantly relaxed into the memory, lips twisting into a furious scowl. Sabo almost laughed. "Yes. Unfortunately."

"I couldn't imagine," Sabo said. "Thank you for that. Luffy's easy because you know he'll never go hungry, but you've got to watch out for what trouble he gets himself into. Hoku on the other hand..."

Sabo glanced to the take out on the table. "I'm always worrying about whether or not she's eating enough or taking care of herself. Especially since she lives alone."

Sabo shook his head. "We've been mentioning to her lately she should consider moving in with us like before. Especially considering in the past..."

Sabo purposefully stopped his explanation, giving Law and innocently hesitant look. "Has she told you about that?"

Law's expression was one of cool calm. He faced Sabo easily, "Once in passing."

"She just forgets to take care of herself," Sabo said softly. "Ace and I used to look after her all the time."

Law considered the take out and glanced halfway over his shoulder. Sabo's smile settled into a thin line. "I know what you mean."

Sabo slowly smiled. He smoothed his thumb over the top of his gloved hand.

"You sound like you know Luffy pretty well too," Sabo said casually, offering Law a grin. "One of the mutuals?"

"Didn't realize we both knew him until later," Law said. "Straw Hat-ya gets around. Realized the same about another friend."

"Who else? Would we know them?"

Law seemed to genuinely hesitate for a moment, not at all nervous, but silently contemplative. Sabo raised a curious brow until Law finally continued, "...Eustass-ya."

He gauged Sabo's reaction to the name, expression impassive. Sabo figured Law was considering the fact that if Sabo and Ace had been close enough to Hoku during high school, they should've been more than aware of Hoku's only long term relationship.

Sabo was very, very aware.

"Oh," Sabo said with oblivious curiosity. He even allowed himself to make a slightly concerned expression, "So you're... a friend of Hoku's ex?"

"...mutuals," Law said, slightly clipped.

Sabo had discovered where he could lightly tap the knife.

"I see," Sabo said, looking naively concerned. "That's nice! It's good that you two can still be friends despite that..." Law looked up at Sabo. His expression remained unbothered, but his jaw shifted slightly. "You know how it usually is for people. Easier to just cut it clean."

"...we became acquainted after the matter," Law said. "It's no problem."

There was a slight shortness, almost barely noticeable. Sabo tried to hide his slow, curling smile. "Of course! If anything, I'm happy to meet one of Hoku's friends. We try to make it a habit to be familiar with all of them."

Sabo smiled, tilting his head to the side. Law's gaze was cool, regarding Sabo with the slightest furrow of his brow. "She's one of our closest friends, after all. We've known her for so long..."

Sabo snapped his fingers as though he'd suddenly had a thought. Law leaned back against the counter, slowly sliding his arms crossed over his chest. His shoulders leaned back somewhat, giving him a broader appearance. Sabo blinked slowly, languidly.

"You guys seem pretty close," Sabo said, simple and easy. "But I'm surprised Hoku's never mentioned you before."

Law shrugged. A light raise of his shoulder. His tone was lazy.

"It's been awhile since you've been in touch."

Sabo smiled, a slow curl of his lips.

The door to Hoku's bathroom swung open with a slight bang! A happy sigh of relief flooded the whole apartment, slightly damp feet slapping against wooded boards. "Done! Shower's all yours if you wanna wash—Sabo!"

Sabo's eyes turned in an instant to the sound of her voice. Hoku stood in the entryway of the kitchen, the faintest wisp of steam curling off her skin. He kept his gaze evenly on her face, expression warm, but he could make out easily the looseness of her shirt, falling in a way about her chest that made him want to offer Law a very persuasive ride home. She slipped pajama shorts on, loose and falling too short over the top of her thighs.

Law turned lazily to look at her entrance.

Sabo's fingers clenched briefly, loosening almost instantly.

Hoku's jaw dropped in surprise, eyes wide in shock for a moment. She quickly swung her gaze from Law to Sabo, looking blatantly confused.

Sabo smiled, his eyes crinkling this time at the corners. "Good evening Hoku... I was just stopping by to bring something over in case you hadn't eaten yet. Just got off work. Dr. Trafalgar was nice enough to let me in."

"Aw, thanks Sabs!" Hoku's eyes went round, quickly hurrying over into the kitchen. She playfully shoved Law aside and he scowled, keeping to the countertop while she stopped beside Sabo. "You didn't have to! Traffy and I actually already ate an early dinner today—but are you hungry? We can heat some of this up and I'll share with you."

Sabo's smile widened even further, gaze fond as he reached over and ruffled the top of Hoku's still damp hair. He watched a bead of water roll down her neck, the smell of her conditioner lingering in the air.

Sabo lightly pulled his fingers away.

"No worries. I already ate. I just wanted to make sure you were eating."

"I am, I am," Hoku said with a pout. She flashed Law a look. "See? You're rubbing off on people!"

"This is the first time we've ever met."

"That's right," Hoku look scandalized. "Have you two introduced yourselves yet? Sabo, this is—"

"We have," Law and Sabo said in unison. Sabo laughed lightly while Law remained silent. "But that's all Hoku, don't let me keep you."

"Aw, well if you're sure," Hoku said. Her brows creased and she frowned. "You can always hang around here for a bit if you wanted! Law's hanging out until his next shift so he's resting here."

"No, no, it's fine," Sabo said sweetly, already beginning to make his way back to the entrance. Hoku followed quick at his heels, coming right up to his side. Sabo's smile widened an inch and he gently set an arm around her shoulders. "Sorry for dropping in so suddenly."

"No need to apologize! I'm happy to see ya," Hoku said brightly. "Are you sure you don't want to stay? You and Law can chat a bit, share some crazy stories—I bet you'll both realize you have plenty about Lu."

Sabo glanced over the top of Hoku's head to where Law had drifted soundlessly to the edge of the kitchen, leaning against the hallway wall.

"I'm sure," Sabo said. "But I have a short meeting with Ace... he says you need to respond to his messages faster, by the way."

"That dumbass blows up my phone at the most random time, I swear—"

"And also, Hoku," Hoku turned at his tone, eyes round and attentive. Sabo's smile curled, his gaze half lowering, pleased. His gloved fingers gently helped guide her, the softest tap, turning her body a bit more toward him.

(Just like that. Good job.)

"We wanted to move the usual appointment up a few days... would that be fine with you?"

Hoku blinked, once with a furrowed brow before her expression cleared. For a brief moment a light flush touched her cheeks, only natural given the memory of her current job with them—but Hoku instantly waved it away with an air of professionalism. "Sure, that's fine with me! The usual?"

"Yes," Sabo said lowly. "I'll keep you updated on the time." He lifted his fingers from her shoulder, drawing her attention away briefly before Sabo gently tucked a damp strand of hair behind her ear. Hoku looked up at the touch.

"Make sure you dry your hair," Sabo said. "You'll catch a cold."

"I will, I will," Hoku laughed, finally stopping by the genkan. Sabo easily reached into the shoe closet, taking out his pair while leaving a gaping spot between the unfamiliar loafers and Hoku's sneakers. "Text me when you get back home!"

"I will," Sabo echoed. Hoku grinned. "I'm sorry again for not staying longer, but I'll be seeing you soon."

"Right," Hoku said brightly. "Thanks again for the food, Sabs!"

"Of course," Sabo said. He looked again down the hall, smiling politely. "Good bye, Dr. Trafalgar. It was nice to meet you!"

"Likewise," Law said.

Sabo adjusted his coat as Hoku reached under him to open the door. He glanced briefly to the top of her head, watching the way the ends of her hair clung damply to the curve of her collarbone.

(A thin strand. The ends clinging to the imagined image of sweat slicked skin. Plastered messily.)

Sabo stepped through the doorway, giving Hoku a tight, one-armed hug before he stepped out into the hall. "Have a good night, you two. Doctor, hope to see you again."

Law nodded from the shadow of the hallway. Hoku grinned up at him, holding the door open as Sabo began to make his way to the elevator. "Bye, Sabs!"

Sabo waved over his shoulder, disappearing around the corner.

Hoku waited a second, staring at the empty space before she hummed happily to herself, stepping back into the apartment. Her fingers twisted the lock with ease, waiting for the familiar click click of the locking mechanism.

Hoku turned on her heel, eyes widening in surprise as she stumbled back a quick step. Law suddenly stood directly in front of her, the slight remains of his cologne still clinging to the air and his chest nearly pressing her flat to the door as he stood over her—"What the hell? Law?"

The cloth of his button down almost touched her lips from the proximity. Hoku tried to lower herself a bit so she could crane her neck up to look at her friend, eyes round with curiosity and surprise. "Traffy?"

Law's gaze was fixed for a moment on the doorframe. His expression was somewhat unreadable, his brows a bit furrowed. They always seemed furrowed in Hoku's opinion, part of his perpetual stress, but there was a strangely... thoughtful? look on his face this time. Law didn't seem to hear her startled inquiry, one of his hands resting above her against the door, as though to keep it pushed closed.

Without a word, Law's long fingers carefully slid her lock chain back in place. His gaze seemed to narrow a bit, staring intently at the door—

Hoku's knuckles knocked against his chest. Law's expression finally cleared and he glanced down, leaning his forearm against the door as he hovered over Hoku.

"Hey," Hoku began, looking curiously confused. "You good?"

Law gazed down at her for a second longer. Hoku's brows started to furrow.

"...Always lock your doors," Law said flatly, he briefly knocked Hoku's head back, ignoring her hiss of pain as he promptly moved her in front of him, forcing her back down the hallway. "I'm tired."

"Tired! We still have a whole season to get through—I think Sabo left a few drinks! Let's have some and finish up."

Hoku practically skipped down the hall, once more unbothered. Law took a few steps after her.

He paused briefly in the entryway, stilling for a second longer before Law finally turned back to the front door.

His eyes lingered on the lock for only a breath longer before he turned, making his way back to Hoku's couch.

Iif you drink that you're going to knock out."

"No way! Look at it, I think the percentage is super low. It's probably basically soda."

.... ..... ..... .... .....

Sabo silently slipped into his car.

He went through the familiar motions, locking the doors and pressing the button for the engine to start. Sabo leaned back against his seat, still tracing the fading warmth over the top of his hand.

His phone began to vibrate. Sabo lightly tapped the button to answer, placing his brother on speaker. “Ace.”

“How was it?” Ace questioned, a hint of a sulk to his tone. “Tell me eve—“

“There’s someone we need to look into,” Sabo said without missing a beat. Ace fell silent on the other end and Sabo leaned forward against his arm crossed over his steering wheel. He looked up from his windshield toward Hoku’s floor in the apartment complex.

“See if you can get a head start. His name’s Trafalgar Law.”

... .... .... .... ....

Law slowly opened his eyes to the almost comforting drone of the television.

Hoku's living room was dark, save for the soft glow of the television screen in front of them. A cooking competition rerun with one of Hoku's friends—the blonde cook, as the guest star currently flirting with one of the female judges. Law eyed the screen for a second before he slowly sat up from his sunken position on the couch, raising himself up by his elbows.

Her apartment was silent save for her friend's professions of love. Law rubbed the back of his neck, working out a kink before he looked over to the heavy weight plastered over his leg.

Hoku was completely knocked out. She slept like the dead, chest rising and falling and hair spilled out messily around them. Her arms were wrapped tightly around Law's thigh and refusing to let go as she occasionally mumbled something against it.

Law ran a hand through his hair, slicking it back as he shut his eyes and took a second to gather his bearings. He reached over Hoku, fishing for his phone and pager. Everything seemed clear, as he expected till at least noon when his next shift would start—Law raised a brow at one message from Shachi saying to disregard a memo to his pager asking him to come in maybe an hour ago.

"Mistake from front desk. Said they had a call of someone requesting you but nothing serious."

Law's brows furrowed slightly, sliding the message open and checking his pager as well. Sure enough, a message had been sent and then a quick follow up.

His hand absently settled over the top of Hoku's head. Law's long fingers half-carded through her hair as he skimmed through the notifications on his phone, half-debating if he needed to call Shachi.

Law paused, glancing down at Hoku. His brows furrowed deeper, gaze becoming focused as he moved his hand from her hair to press the back of his hand to Hoku's forehead.

Warm. She's totally flushed. Law set his phone down, nudging Hoku by her shoulder. "Hoku-ya. Hoku-ya, wake up."

"Mmmm," Hoku slurred. "'m... not yet... you feel... cool..."

The sickly sweet hang of alcohol finally reached Law's nose. He blinked slowly in faint surprise, scanning Hoku's coffee table for where she might've grabbed an extra drink when he didn't realize—they'd both just been nursing small cans of whatever until they'd knocked out on the couch—

Law paused. His eyes focused on Hoku's drink sitting at the corner of the table. He gazed at it for a second longer before Law finally turned his focus back to Hoku.

"Hoku-ya."

Hoku's eyes finally fluttered open. She moved sluggishly, expression dazed and cheeks flushed in the darkness. Law's gaze narrowed at the sight and she mumbled, shaking her head awake as Hoku slowly unwound herself from his calf, sitting up between his legs.

"Ugh," Hoku mumbled. She shook her head and them seemed to instantly regret the action. "Man... I'm... beat... 's it... time for you... go?"

Law shook his head. Hoku began to lean against the couch now, eyes heavy with sleep. He carefully considered how hard it was for her to stay awake, deeply buzzed without being properly drunk.

"'orry," Hoku yawned, shaking her head against the couch. "So... tired..."

Without another word, Law rose from the couch. Hoku mumbled something, nuzzling into the side of the cushion until Law silently slipped his arms underneath her. Hoku's eyes fluttered openly briefly, rolling up to look at Law as he lifted her up before she shut them once more, not even making a fuss as she turned to rest her head against his chest instead.

Law manuvered his way to Hoku's room, nudging the door open with his foot and quietly stepping over her scattered projects. He lowered Hoku into her bed, checking the flush of her skin before he briskly made his way out back into the livingroom.

He stopped briefly before the kitchen, grabbing the two cans off Hoku's table and flicking the light switch on. Law approached the sink, dumping out first the last of the beer from his can before he finally focused on Hoku's.

Law held the can up to the light, carefully turning the label around.

"It's sweet and fizzy," Hoku had said. "Pretty light in taste. Like a soda. These aren't so bad. Percentage seems low."

It wasn't clear on first glance. Law turned away from the label now and meticulously checked each line of the nutritional box until he found what he was looking for. He scoffed in disbelief, rolling the can once between his fingers as the bit of remaining liquid sloshed about.

The percentage of alcohol in this was one of the highest he'd ever seen in a can.

He heard Hoku's laugh. "Sabo has good taste!"

Law stared at it for a moment longer before he promptly dumped the rest of the contents into the sink, trashing the cans into Hoku's recycling bin.

He pulled a bottle of water from her fridge, quietly making his way back to Hoku's room.

Law considered her sorry state for a moment, curled into a tight little ball over the top of her sheets while she wrapped her arms tightly around one of her pillows. Hoku's cheeks were flushed a bright red, her breathing slowed. Law set the bottle on her nightstand and took a seat on the edge of her bed, working her comforter out from under her.

Hoku's eyes fluttered open once more at the disturbance, turning lazily toward Law. Hoku freed an arm from her pillow, reaching over to grip the edge of Law's shirt.

"...'ay here?"

Law glanced down at Hoku. She gazed sleepily back up at him, brows creased imploringly. He remained silent for a few beats before Law wordlessly motioned with his hand. Hoku seemed lucid enough to understand, grinning cheekily as she shuffled over so Law had room. He turned, laying himself in the freed space of her mattress as Hoku's entire face seemed to relax now, holding her pillow loosely.

Law laid sideways, pulling the comforter up over Hoku while he laid on top of them. Hoku's soft scent covered the lingering whisper of alcohol, wrapping lightly around Law. He stared silently at Hoku's face, her expression slowly growing more and more relaxed, breaths slow and easy.

A thought remained in the back of his head. He considered the conversation he'd had with Hoku just an hour or so ago before they'd fallen asleep on the couch.

"Hoku-ya."

She'd looked up at him from the top of her can.

"Has that guy always been like that?"

A wide grin, brows a bit furrowed.

"Sabo? Like what?"

She'd laughed.

'If you mean always that put together, yeah, hahaha. Between the four of us, he was always good at—"

Law had dropped the conversation there, instead letting Hoku tell him a few stories about their childhood and high school days. He listened for small pieces in Hoku's stories, a faint clue to give weight to a careless thought.

Perhaps it was because Law himself wasn't quite sure what name to put to what he'd considered he'd seen.

(His gaze meeting his own over the top of her head.)

Gloved fingers splaying widely across the back of Hoku's shoulder, featherlight she probably didn't even feel the touch.

(The way that hand had covered so much.)

The way he'd look at Hoku, just for a second—

(Possessive.)

-sorry it mightve ended up a bit more sabo-centric than law, i'll do more law TT

#memos #memos au #sabo #hoku #law #trafalgar law #locked here for forever #lhff #ace #wow that was a doozy #so fun to write hope it was fun to read #i go sleep now #law seems indifferent but i liked writing him thru sabos eyes it was a bit tricky #love law wanna do his own au fr

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